Nasty Dread: Beware The Ersatz Island Schmaltz Of Magic! Follow The Concourse Unfollow The Concourse

Nasty Dread: Beware The Ersatz Island coupon codes for dollar rental car Schmaltz Of Magic! Follow The Concourse Unfollow The Concourse Related blogs Deadspin Foodspin Fittish coupon codes for dollar rental car Regressing Screamer Screengrabber The Stacks Blogs you may like Deadspin Gawker Gizmodo io9 Jalopnik Jezebel Kotaku Lifehacker Trending on Related Blogs Dead Girlfriend s FB Messages From Beyond the Grave Will Terrify You 3.2k people reading on Jezebel Police: Hot-Car Dad Sexted Six Women While His Son Slowly Perished 3.1k people reading on Gawker Prosecutors: Justin Harris Sexted While Son Slowly Died in Hot Car 2.2k people reading on Jezebel Recommended by Garrett Kamps Nasty Dread: Beware coupon codes for dollar rental car The Ersatz Island Schmaltz Of Magic! Hell Is Other People: Titanfall s Story-Free, Multiplayer-Only Dystopia Borderlands 2 Is The Best Video Game Ever Confessions Of A Masturbating Video Gamer Grand Theft Blotto: What GTAV Means To A Laid-Off coupon codes for dollar rental car Depressive Like Me Larry Ellison Wags His Cock At San Francisco The Concourse Follow The Concourse Unfollow The Concourse Related blogs Deadspin coupon codes for dollar rental car Foodspin Fittish Regressing Screamer Screengrabber The Stacks Blogs you may like Deadspin Gawker Gizmodo io9 Jalopnik coupon codes for dollar rental car Jezebel Kotaku Lifehacker In 5 seconds, click here to continue reading... Nasty Dread: Beware The Ersatz Island Schmaltz Of Magic! 9,383 2 Garrett Kamps Profile Follow Unfollow Garrett Kamps Filed to: summer jams magic white reggae discouraging words music clowns fl 7/03/14 9:28am Today 9:28am Edit Delete Invite Invite manually Promote X Dismiss X Undismiss Block for The Concourse Hide Share to Kinja Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Go to permalink
It's the rare band that makes Smash Mouth seem edgy by comparison. It's the rare band that makes Sublime seem arty, that makes 311 seem novel, that makes Jack Johnson seem… tolerable. But here we are, and here we go: Magic. Oops, make that Magic!—the exclamation point being one of many red flags indicating that these guys are high-order douches.
Here's another, a quote from founding coupon codes for dollar rental car member Nasri (just the one name, thanks), taken from a quickie write-up in that reputed A E organ USA Today : Mark was playing guitar and started playing this kind of reggae groove. I said, 'Bro, I have this whole concept for a band, to do a like a modern-day Police. We should start a band.'
Guess what? They started a band. The band sounds nominally coupon codes for dollar rental car like the Police. But what they really sound like is if Maroon 5 and UB40 had a baby, then raised that baby in a box with no light, then let it out during adolescence and fed it nothing but Adderal, then ran it over with a bus, then reanimated its corpse and made it dance around to Crazy Town's Butterfly.
That band's thing's album is out this week, and contains the single Rude, which is currently filling the role of this year's sacrificial Summer Jam, the one you'll hear everywhere through July and August, and dream of vanquishing coupon codes for dollar rental car Viking-funeral-style come September, lying to your friends that you hated it all along. Lemme save you the trouble: Start hating it now.
Am I being harsh? Perhaps. I'll admit to having a personal grudge against Magic. (Nope, not gonna do it.) You see, last week I took a long-overdue vacation. Me and my BFF went surfing, in fact, in my homeland of Southern California, which is pretty much the exact activity and geographic location you're supposed to be doing/in when you encounter coupon codes for dollar rental car a band like this, and sure enough, we did: Seemingly every time we fired up the rental car to stock up on beer or get some bean-and-cheese-and-potato coupon codes for dollar rental car burritos coupon codes for dollar rental car from Pedro's (Christ, those rule), that impossibly cloying/annoying song was on. You've heard it, right? Sure you have. It's in heavy rotation on every radio format: pop, alt, rock, adult contemporary, and whatever plays Shwayze. Trust me, it's on, filling dentist's waiting rooms and shitty sports bars with sentimental faux reggae that's so insipid and phony it makes Slightly Stoopid look like Jimmy Cliff. So thank you, Magic, for I will forever associate your piece-of-shit coupon codes for dollar rental car song with my otherwise great vacation.
Am I picking on a new band with good intentions that's just trying to make its way in the world? Sorta, but not really. Magic is the concoction of Los Angeles-via-Toronto pop striver Nasri, a songwriter/hit-maker in the mold of One Republic's Ryan Tedder and Foster the People's Marc Foster. Nasri's coupon codes for dollar rental car written songs for the likes of Shakira and Chris Brown; he and his band are what are known as pro-giggers, trained and talented musicians plying their trade anytime and anywhere—which is fine! If you're good at something, never do it for free, amiright? Indeed. Stack that paper. But still: This is why Magic are a new band the same way Doritos' Jacked Spicy Chipotle BBQ Chips are a new food. Both are neither new nor nourishing in the slightest.
Here's the part where you lecture me about the Monkees and the Beatles and Colonel Tom Parker and all the bands stanchioned together over the years by this or that Svengali and the indelible impact they had on the pop-music cannon. But fuck that. I can get down with that. I'll listen to the totally fabricated One Direction's totally fabricated Mumford Sons rip Story of My Life and hum that shit no problemo. Pop music is all about what you're selling and how you're selling coupon codes for dollar rental car it: Those things coupon codes for dollar rental car have to line up. When they don't—when, say, you're selling boho hippie island vibes with Don Draper's cynical acumen–well, then, you hear it like nails on a chalkboard, which btw is a generous characterization of Magic's debut album, coupon codes for dollar rental car even per the horrifically low bar of summer-jam albums.
We might as well talk about that album. Perhaps Rude is the bad trailer for the great movie, right? Nope. If there's coupon codes for dollar rental car one thing I know, it's half-assed surfer reggae/ska/punk, having grown up during the genre's heyday in its ancestral home. (Dig it: My college roommate was in that Crazy Town video .) But Magic's coupon codes for dollar rental car debut has self-serious arena rock aspirations coupon codes for dollar rental car that squash its chances of feeling truly breezy coupon codes for dollar rental car and carefree. Because these guys are pro-giggers, the record features solid musicianship: pyrotechnic guitar licks, canny arrangements, big choruses. coupon codes for dollar rental car And I'll give the band credit for channeling the Police's peripatetic grooves on songs like Stupid Me and Little Girl Big World. These guys have chops, no doubt; there are some legitimate earworms on this thing. But songs like One Woman One Man, a seeming Bob Marley/Coldplay mashup, betray Magic as a pop composite for the America's Got Talent age, selling sunny vibes that dimly reveal themselves to be the equivalent of inflatable palm trees marked down at Walmart.
Even the record's title, Don't Kill the Magic , seems like a preemptive taunt to would-be critics like me: We're all just chilling, having a good time, squeezing limes into our Corona Lites! Don't harsh our mellow, bro! Don't munge our vibe! Don't kill the magic ! Nope, sorry, I'm killing it, exclamation point and all. 2 130 Reply 130 Discuss Discussions from People followed by Garrett Kamps Garrett Kamps’s Discussions Popular Discussion All replies Show all threads Hosts of other popular chats Respond to Garrett Kamps and keep the discussion coupon codes for dollar rental car going... View Popular Discussion View all 130 replies Help Terms of Use Privacy Advertising Permissions coupon codes for dollar rental car Content coupon codes for dollar rental car Guidelines RSS